OPINION: Let’s celebrate Andrew and R. Jai Gillum for finding the freedom to define themselves and their relationship on their terms and for making space for others to do the same.
Relationships, like the people in them, are more complicated than we sometimes want to acknowledge. While there are templates provided in the form of legal contracts — like marriage certificates and social expectations, like those celebrated in romantic comedies and romance novels — the contours of all relationships are determined by those committed to the relationship.
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Many members of the Black community were recently reminded about how non-traditional relationships can be when our sister Niecy Nash, now Carol Denise Betts, announced her marriage to Jessica Betta via an Instagram post.
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In response to the post I shared on social media, @Jassyjeanette wrote, “I’ll admit…it threw me but I love Niecy! Congrats!” When prompted about what exactly threw her, @Jassyjeanette continued, “her getting married so quick (at least quick for me) and her marrying a woman. But as a bi woman myself…glad to see her living her truth. I just always knew her to be with men but that’s on me for putting her into a box.”
Jassyjeanette not only highlights an often-ignored community within the LGBTQ community; but by affirming that Black bisexual people exist, she also highlights how easy it is for all of us to categorize people based on what we think we are supposed to know.
It’s with this in mind that I write to thank my brother, Andrew Gillum, and my sister, R. Jai Gillum, for inviting us in. Andrew and R. Jai are a family. Period, full stop. The contours of their marriage and how they show up for one another was, is, and will remain for them to negotiate. They do not owe anyone an explanation of their relationship.
Source: Andrew Gillum provides an opportunity to celebrate diverse Black love
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