CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of domestic violence, homophobia, violence against women, and drug abuse
He was born Jahseh Dwayne Onfroy on January 28, 1998. On June 18, 2018 he died XXXTentacion.
Onfroy was 20 years old when he was shot to death in Broward County, Florida during an alleged armed robbery. In the wake of his passing, he remains a controversial figure in the music industry.
READ MORE: No Motive, Arrests in Fatal Shooting of Rapper XXXTentacion
Onfroy had a history of violence both inflicted upon him and him inflicting it upon others. He was the victim who became the abuser.
Onfroy’s life was the textbook example of the cycle of abuse.
Onfroy’s music was a combination of hiphop and emo music. He was known as a genius by many. He received praise from the likes of Kanye West to A$AP Rocky in death.
But despite his musical genius, Onfroy was struggling. His music reflected a complete disregard for both the lives of other and himself. His music reflected the thoughts of a lost and troubled young man.
Onfroy sang on his track “Save Me,”
“Tell me when the fuck is it all gon’ end?
Voices in my head telling me I’m gonna end up dead”
Onfroy had struggled with insecurity, drug abuse, and depression while he lived through a childhood of trauma. He barely died an adult. But Onfroy took his anger out on people who had nothing to do with his direct trauma.
Onfroy targeted women and vulnerable people. His most well known case involved the atrocities he committed against his pregnant ex-girlfriend.
His music reflected extreme misogyny, mental instability, and an obvious desire to answer questions about his own young life.
His actions will never be justifiable, but Onfroy remains the unfortunate image of another person who was incapable of breaking the cycle of abuse before he passed. Regardless of the potential, did Onfroy have an interest in change in the last eight months of his life? His friends, family, and fans said he did. But only he would know.
When Onfroy was born, he wasn’t born into a stable household. He was born to a mother financially incapable and just incapable of raising him. He never stayed in one home.
When his mother was around he felt warmth but when she was gone he was in the dark.
Onfroy was constantly in trouble.
The Guardian reported that the age of 17, Onfroy was already charged with the possession of a firearm, armed robbery, resisting arrest, and Xanax possession. While doing a stint in Juvenile Detention, he beat a fellow inmate for being allegedly gay.
His most well known act of violence was after juvenile detention. While his career was beginning to flourish, Onfroy began to violently abuse his ex girlfriend.
According to court documents, Onfroy stomped on her head, held her head, strangled, kicked and punched her. Onfroy would make threats of suicide in front of her. The woman became pregnant later on. Onfroy continued to assault her and even kidnapped her.
He was arrested for these charges and other charges and initially put under house arrest and eventually in prison.
Onfroy became more and more famous while in prison.
According to The Guardian, Onfroy allegedly donated $100,000 to a domestic violence charity but that remains disputed. In the same voice he’d use to apologize, Onfroy would continue to resort to violence. It almost seemed like he didn’t comprehend the seriousness of his crimes.
In his passing, social media has become crowded with various perspectives.
A popular perspective is that Onfroy could have done more with his life had he lived. Disconcertingly, this perspective is being used by some to police the language of people speaking out against Onfroy’s past.
The trouble with focusing on the possible futures of abusers is that we completely disregard the lives of their victims. In a society that prioritizes the needs of men, women are the most frequently left behind. Women who survive gender violence become demonized because “they had a past and their assailants have a future.”
When you think deeper, this situation is much more multifaceted. Onfroy isn’t the perfect abuser. He isn’t the privileged white face that Brock Turner is. Onfroy was a victim who fell into the cycle of abuse. He was a insecure troubled young black man stuck in a cycle without the right people to talk to.
Onfroy also had a positive impact on many of his young fans and did actively express a desire to help them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TtocfDTVgQ
As a survivor, I genuinely believe abusers can be rehabilitated. Whether or not it’s possible is based off of whether or not the abuser wants to change. In the rehabilitation process comes accountability and constant discussion.
Did Onfroy actually want to change or could have he changed? I don’t know. I didn’t know him or the victims of his violence. But I do know his actions weren’t justifiable and can never be justifiable.
Had Onfroy lived, he deserved to face all possible moral consequences for his violence. But he also deserved an opportunity to learn how to change. Everyone does.
But we must remember that just because compassion may be possible doesn’t mean every reaction must be unanimous. We can’t police the anger and pain of survivors and women when it comes to his life and death.
His critics don’t owe him forgiveness or compassion merely because he passed away. While his loved ones don’t owe others no emotions at all.
Regardless of how you feel, we cannot tell people what to or how to feel in the wake of his death.
We live in a world that creates and enables abusers like him. We don’t demand accountability from abusers. If anything we idolize abuse and push it aside to follow our favorite celebrities like Chris Brown, David Bowie and beyond.
The unfortunate reality is that race has a play to an extent. Onfroy’s actions should be discussed in passing, in life, and beyond. But had he been a white man, the reaction may be different.
For example, Johnny Depp is still a prominent actor. Depp has thousands of defenders. By now, the mainstream public has forgotten about Depp and his abuse of Amber Heard.
Accountability of violence should not be racially targeted. It cannot be racially targeted.
If you are speaking out against Onfroy, I hope you are speaking out against his white abusive counterparts. I hope you also spoke out during his life. Had Onfroy lived, I hope you would still remain as critical of his actions as you are now.
